My existence has a different substance now. I sat with all of this information for a while. I have ADHD. This meant that I got super focused on this and it literally occupied all of my thoughts. My husband was quickly tired of hearing about it. He asked me questions like, “What are you going to do about it? Does it really matter? Does it change anything?” People were still saying things like, “Are you sure it’s them?” My family, friends, and colleagues were so sick of me talking about “my DNA”, my mother-in-law rolled her eyes at least once, my husband just didn’t seem to care or want to guess with me any longer. Why was I so obsessed? I know, because the hole in my heart was filling up with potential, with people.
I wasn’t sure about learning about my matches just yet, so I looked deeper into the section called Ethnicity Estimate and DNA Origins. It describes how my DNA can be tracked from Europe to the United States, including maps as well as historical information about migrations. It described, immigration from Europe to Northern Maine, the Midwest, and Virginia. These aren’t places my mom’s family immigrated too. Why wasn’t her family represented? Either way, I now know my ancestors immigrated to Northern Maine, the Lower Midwest & Virginia. My love for Bluegrass music must be in my DNA.
When I saw the show Bright Star, I thought, ooooh, maybe my dad was ripped away from his mom and she has wondered about him all along. Maybe my dad was an Iron Mountain Baby. It was almost exactly 1 year after seeing that delightful show that I had all of this information. I needed to find out the story of my dad and how he came to be my Grandparents beloved son. My original reason for wanting to see Bright Star was for the music. I had heard the music and truly loved it! When I left the show, I had renewed interest in my dad’s background. Go figure that his roots are in a similar geographic area.
Back to the DNA matches, Ancestry.com has a section called DNA Matches and it is filled with match names that are mostly similar to old school AOL Instant Messanger-esque names, like CowKisses, ADG422, MyAncestry1009, etc. No real names, which means I can’t internet stalk them first (such a bummer). I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. What did I want to learn? Was I prepared to learn that my biological grandparents were serial killers (shout out to My Favorite Murder – my favorite Podcast)? Were they Bonnie and Clyde-esque? Were they kids that were too scared and too young to care for my dad? Was I prepared to know they are super kind people who lived wonderful lives? Was I prepared to learn that they had no interest in learning about us? I thought of as many scenarios as I could and it made me wait a little more than 10 days before I sent my first email.
DNA Matches are rated by Possible Range: 1st cousin to 8th cousin and by Confidence: Moderate to Extremely High. I reviewed my list of what felt like hundreds of people and discovered that 8 people where extremely highly likely 1st or 2nd cousins. I started at the top of the list. I wrote to the one on the top of the list, K.C. (managed by Cowkisses):
Hi,
You were listed as extremely likely 1st or 2nd cousin. Most of my family settled in Hartford, CT in the 20’s but I know nothing about my Dad’s biological family. He was adopted in Hartford, CT. He was born July of 1949. Wondering if any of that makes a connection for you.
That same day I got an email back:
Hi Sarah – Since your family settled in Hartford, I am guessing you are matching my wife, Katherine? She is from Northern Maine and some in her family settled in Hartford. Let me know who you matched?
James, husband of Katherine
Woah! I’m matching with a person named Katherine. This is real. Is this my family? No wait, it’s DNA results, of course, this is my family!
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 