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Now I know you

This whole finding my biological family experience has been surreal. I mean, clearly. I have always dreamed of what my ‘family’ was like. I was never sure what to expect. I know so many stories about my mom’s family. Origin stories of how we ended up in America, names, birthdays and some anecdotes about relationships. […]

I’m not going to be a Burden

I hadn’t realized how much of my life I lived avoiding being a burden. As a woman, as a child, as an employee, as a friend, as a mom, these are all roles I’ve had where I do my best not to be a problem, to be amenable, and to put my feelings aside for […]

When a memory is triggered

Gosh, that is a weird thing to happen. The other day, I started with a new therapist. I have seen therapists on and off most of my life. I usually struggle to stay the course for two reasons. The first is that I hate talking about things that make me cry, and the second is […]

Always Worried

Aren’t we all always worried about how we are screwing up our kids? My kids are 14 and 10. In ‘Corona times’ I found myself noticing my screw-ups even more. I am sad. I am letting my kids down. I don’t know how to lift me up, how on earth can I lift them? There […]

I hate Father’s Day

As I sat in Shavasana at the end of a Father’s Day Yoga class with my favorite instructor, I cried. I cried for the entire minute and beyond. Father’s Day this year was harder than others. I didn’t think to text a single person. I was with my nuclear family, said ‘Happy Father’s Day’ to […]

10 years old – Happy Birthday to the girl who inspired me

Ten years is a long time. Ten years is a short time. When I was a brand new mom I listened to the podcast, The Longest Shortest Time. It helped me on so many levels. It helped me feel normal and less alone. Being a new mom is complicated and filled with doubt. I was […]

How do you treat your mother?

“As you know, today is Mother’s Day. Not a card, or a phone call, but a lousy text message? The phone was obviously in your hand, you obviously dialed the number, but you chose to text and not speak to your mother on Mother’s Day. That’s so impersonal and really mean. I’m sure Seth called […]

Your Life History in 20 Questions: Q19 & Q20

Q19: As you think through your own answers to these questions, what patterns or themes do you see? I spy with my little eye, a lot of self loathing and discovery of my brain. Things sucked – move on. In my last post I spoke about how I needed to not dwell in the negative. […]

Your Life History in 20 Questions: Q 17 & Q18

Q17: What do you think you are good at? Do you enjoy using those skills? The beauty of ADHD is the ability to learn new skills. I love to learn new things, somewhat ‘H’ing (hyper focus) on them until I learn them and then moving on. I would say I can do a lot of […]

Your Life History in 20 Questions: Q15 & Q16

Q15: What are some careers you do NOT want to pursue? What is it about these jobs, as you perceive them, that turn you off? What is your source of knowledge about these careers? I’m not interested in managing bodily fluids of any kind. So not emergency medicine of any kind, general nursing, doctoring or […]