We Finally Meet

I was profoundly disappointed that we didn’t meet that first time. Grateful that my brother had still gone and was able to ask lots of questions and enjoy their company. I was so glad he was willing. I trust him to understand, at least a little, my feelings in wanting this information. So we rescheduled.

The day finally came and I met my brother and sister in law in a parking lot half way between his house and our aunts home. My ADHD gives me a lot of social anxiety. I am often more quiet than I want to be because there is usually so much noise that I can’t think. Stella is with me and that makes me nervous too. But they have to see her, she is the reason I was so curious in the first place.

We arrive and everyone comes outside to greet us. It felt so amazing. It felt like when I was little and would show up and my grandparents house. My maternal grandma would come out clapping and yay-ing (we saw her often, so we really expected it and loved it). I can still hear it, she had a unique clap. The new family was warm and welcoming. We all hugged to say hello instead of just saying hi.

We spent the afternoon together and I learned a lot about my family. They were all still grieving losing their mom, grandma and wife. She kept everyone very close, her husband loved her so much, he couldn’t say her whole name without it getting caught in his throat. They shared a video of pictures that they had put together for her memorial. They celebrated their anniversary in a big way so often. She looked so happy. That made me so happy. My dad had also been so happy. It essentially all worked out the way it should have. It’s not clear though if my dad and his mom felt that way. 

As it turns out, they were also celebrating Joe’s 85th birthday. The devoted husband of my biological grandma. The devoted father of my biological aunts. The devoted grandmother to my biological cousins. They had cake. And then Joe presented US with a present. Our grandmother collected glass cookie trays and chickens of all varieties. I don’t use the chicken bowl, but I do try to use the cookie plate on holidays. We try to use one plate or ritual item from each of our grandparents on holidays. We also are sure to tell the children about the unique people who once owned these pieces.