That’s a deep title. It was the first assignment in a Coursera course titled “Career Decisions: From Insight to Impact”. Coursera offers free classes and I have been struggling with my career choices since getting my masters degree and then getting my diagnosis. I realized I have spent so much time running and due to life, not been able to be vulnerable or feel confident enough to pause to think about who I am and where I’d like to go. So here I am with a job I like and some free time while people are still home due to Covid. I’m an office manager, so much busier when people are in the office.
This courses first assignment hit me in a strange place. Life History. I generally break my life up into a few segments and keep them separate.
They are:
Birth to moving to West Hartford
Moving to West Hartford to Grandma Roz dying/my parents getting divorced
My parents getting divorced to Terry moving in/they get married
Terry moving in/they get married to Abbey being born
Abbey being born/going to college to marrying Mike
Marrying Mike, moving to Florida to divorcing Mike
Divorcing Mike to moving to New York
Moving to New York to meeting Seth
Meeting Seth, getting married, having babies, getting my maters degree to ADHD Diagnosis
ADHD Diagnosis to today
Each of these has depth, they blend a bit and I have a terrible memory. I never took time to reflect. I couldn’t. My brain didn’t let me. I am now. ‘Your Life History in 20 Questions.”
Q1. Where did you grow up? Who were the most influential adults in your life, and what did they do for a living.
A1. I grew up in Windsor, CT and West Hartford, CT. My grandparents also had homes in New London, CT and Florida, so I spent a significant amount of time in those places too. I also spent a month a year at Camp Shalom, in Windsor, CT. So that makes five different places I think of when asked about where I grew up.
One of the most influential adults in my life was my Grandma Ede. She was my definition of unconditional love. She had a wonderful career in a school office at a public school. She wasn’t a full time homemaker. She was always available for me. I spent time with her at her homes, her job and with her friends. Grandma had the ability to make me feel comfortable, always. She always made me feel special and important. She cared about saving money, about staying healthy and that her home was always available if someone needed her. She lived well into her 90’s. I miss her.
The next adult to influence me, was actually a trio of camp professionals that I worked with at Camp Shalom. These three women are amazing. They work hard, they raised families and they influence their communities through service. They were and are my working hero’s. They were an amazing team of leaders. They had amazing communication skills and allowed for vulnerability. I never let myself be truly vulnerable with any of these people, because love always felt conditional on me being ‘good’ or ‘paying attention’ and since I couldn’t do that, I kept distance. But man, I still ‘know’ them on Facebook and they remain people I admire. They are each a leader in their industry and their communities.
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 