Q2: How did your academic interests develop? What seemed to be influencing your decisions?
My academic interests were all over the place. When one has undiagnosed ADHD it’s almost impossible to focus and learn something that you are uninterested in. I never should have gone to college right out of high school. My high school was essentially a pipeline to college. That was what you did. A few people went into the military, but I don’t think that were more than a dozen in my class of about 350. That was the first influence for me. Everyone else was doing it. I had mediocre grades and got into 4 out of 5 colleges I applied to. Spent two years and too much money at a college in Boston and returned home having failed there. I failed at being independent and I failed at school. I just wasn’t prepared with study skills and so much independence. I couldn’t sit still. I also wasn’t fully motivated. So I stepped back, I went part time at Central Connecticut State University.
I started college in the fall of 1993 and received my diploma in 2005. I walked in a graduation ceremony in 2000 but still had 3 outstanding credits. As a typical person with ADHD, I struggle to finish projects. To finish those last 3 credits, I needed to a few things: motivation, money and time. I was working full time already and just wanted to move forward. I look back now and know that the state of my ADHD was in tough shape. I was one might call a ‘hot mess’. I couldn’t finish anything, or spend time thinking about anything. My mind and my body needed to be in constant motion or depression would take over. I didn’t have anyone to speak with about it, because I hated being vulnerable. Vulnerability had never served me well.
It was my supervisor at the job mentioned above who sat me down and said, “you need to finish your degree in order to move on.” She said it with kindness, with love and with so much kindness. She was someone I really looked up to. Her ability to think big was so exciting to be around. Her kindness and respect influenced me to finish and showed me I can move on.
I did move on, albeit it was slowly, I finished and kept going to finish a Master’s Degree in May of 2011. I wanted to become a leader like the adults I mentioned in Q1, and above.
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 