Q3: What other things were you involved in outside of the classroom? How did those interests change over time? What seemed to be influencing those decisions?
Work and play. I actually didn’t do much else. A concert here and there, I played volleyball in high school, but no other after school activities. I did a lot of hanging out. I also had a very young sister at this time and a brother who had kids. I did my fair share of babysitting for my sister or other babysitting gigs.
When I was in college, I worked a lot too. I had to blow off steam, so I drank a lot. I also hung out with my co-workers in my various jobs in restaurants, construction worker and landscaping. Nothing productive and nothing for me, just a way to pay the bills. I never wanted time alone, didn’t want to look into what all of my failings and lack of insight were doing to my ‘career’ choices. And I drank to numb those feelings of inadequacy.
If I truly reflect on this question, my undiagnosed ADHD was 100% why I was constantly in survival mode. I couldn’t focus on anything long enough, nor could I get my brain to slow to get good sleep. Add in my terrible habits of drinking and smoking, plus a super unhealthy diet. Survival mode, the only mode I had known for years!
Q4: Did you go to College? How did you decide where to apply? What seemed to be influencing your decisions?
I addressed a lot of this in a previous post. I finished a Masters degree! I am so proud of that. It took me 18 years. I decided where to apply to undergrad based on a few visits and where my mom let me apply. I don’t remember much about making the choice on which school to attend.
From an ADHD perspective, I do remember the process of applying and my mom not thinking my essay was good enough. When I got into the college I attended first, it may have been because my acceptance letter had a hand written note that said, “Nice essay!”
College took me so long because of my undiagnosed ADHD. I just couldn’t “get my shit together” long enough to attend class regularly. I would miss a class or two and then figure whats the use – too hard. Ugh! When things are ‘too hard’ or too many steps, my brain just can’t deal, so I avoid it all together.
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 