Q7: What were your interests outside of the classroom? How did they change over time?
Ugh, I didn’t have any. I couldn’t focus. I wanted to be drunk to slow everything down or feel more free to rage. This feels so pathetic now. Being undiagnosed, and now diagnosed is infuriating, sad and eye opening. So many of my struggles could have been understood.
A symptom of my ADHD is ruminating. I am super good at that and I absolutely hate it. ADHD is trouble regulating or understanding your emotions. I am getting better at recognizing negative emotions and finding ways to move forward from them. But shit, it’s taken a long ass time.
My interests were very rarely academic. I was always seeking ways to keep up with my brain. I liked to drive fast, be silly, work and not talk about feelings in any way. I love (and loved) to be creative, but never finish any projects. I like to keep my hands busy. I painted, I worked on my yard, I crocheted, sewed, learned how to ride snowmobiles and ATVs and was always seeking something to do. If I wasn’t moving, my brain would take over and be so negative!
Just writing this is becoming super helpful to seeing the places I need to understand my ADHD, my life experiences and how they shape my ADHD and which parts I’d like to fix. Truth be told, I do love when my ‘H’ kicks in when it comes to being creative.
Q8: What types of work experiences did you have while in school? (These could include internships, summer jobs, volunteer work, etc) What did you learn from these experiences about your interests outside the classroom?
Yes, I did. I had lots of jobs. Mostly waiting tables so I could have cash and not have to wait for a paycheck. I also babysat, worked at camp and various other small jobs. None of the jobs brought me fulfillment, they were task oriented work that had a start and a finish, no deep thinking required. They all provided dopamine as my brain is so eager for it. I have general good instincts with people and was able to manage the roles, as long as I wasn’t bored. Bored at work, led me to leaving the job and seeking another. I would get bored when jobs weren’t busy, but more often, once I felt I had learned everything there was to learn in the job, I’d want to move on.
On the job and in that time of my life I learned to ‘just keep swimming’, like my friend Dory says in Finding Nemo. Just keep swimming is a reasonable thing when your brain doesn’t slow down.
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 