Q11: Overall, what have been the most influential experiences so far? Why?
Overall the most influential experiences in work have been how leadership reacts to adversity. When I was at Leadership Greater Hartford I had a fellow employee (but in a position of power) approached me with religious propaganda on September 12, 2001 when we were all still visibly shaken from the attacks all over the United States. She offered a passage that she ‘knew something like this would happen, it’s here in the book’. I said no thank you. She persisted. I went to leadership and they took care of it. She never approached me again.
At another place of work, I was sexually harassed. The harasser had also made some of my campers uncomfortable by tickling them. After not responding to being told touching/tickling wasn’t ok, I had to report him. I had reported both issues to leadership, only the personal harassment in writing. I was not his direct supervisor and I did tell the direct supervisor immediately. They allowed him to file a complaint about me. I kept myself between any children and that man knowing I was denied support for myself. I also took him off any role that had him alone with children. He went right back to his regular duties after I left and eventually ‘retired’. My children went to the same location for pre-school, but I wouldn’t enroll them until I knew there wouldn’t be any contact with him.
Influential experiences are about how one reacts to hard news. One leader understood boundaries and about supporting employees. The other, not so much. Both were men. It never surprises me when I hear a woman was sexually harassed at work and didn’t do anything about it. But I remember there are also supportive men and work environments.
On another note, the question isn’t asking about work. Work people have had a great influence on me because work is where I’ve spent most of my time in my adult life. If I was to pick another influential experience it would be my undergrad behavioral statistics class. I had to take it twice (stupid ADHD). The second time I took it the prof asked who was taking it for the second time. 50% of the people in the room raised their hand. She made her self available and I made myself go. I got an B+! Pretty good improvement that happened because I asked for help. when I needed it instead of struggling.
Q12: Overall, who have been the most influential people you have met? Why?
When I think of the ideal job, I remember supporting and working with three fantastic women when I worked at camp. The three women each had a different background and education in children and administration. They ran the camp with grace, with humility and with love. They were so much fun to work with. Camp was thriving when they were there. I wanted to work super long hours to be around them. I learned that being vulnerable is good when you trust your team. When someone asks me what my “dream job” would be, I never have a good answer. I want to be part of team like this. I want to work hard with others, if it was also working to help children and families that would be a huge bonus.
Again, the question isn’t about work and I went right there. Most influential people to date have been complicated. The most positive influence, I’d say a few of my friends have shown me how it’s ok to be vulnerable. One is a long time friend. One is a new friend. One who is between the two. My inability to allow myself to be vulnerable has been such an obstacle. With my diagnosis I have opened myself up to allowing and learning to be vulnerable. I know I am still guarded with many, that likely won’t go away – people suck. It has been quite amazing to test things out with these amazing women.
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 