Q13: As you look back over these experiences, what are your happiest memories? What is it about those experiences that made them enjoyable?
Creating something new has always made me happiest. My first memory of this is when I created a log for my income when I started babysitting at 12 years old. I created a notebook that tracked money in and money out. It was great – and then POOF my ADHD made it uninteresting.
This is a pretty common pattern for me and for many with ADHD. It’s really freaking frustrating. I always just assumed it was me being lazy. I still get so frustrated with myself when I am super good and attentive to something for a few weeks and then I can completely forget it one day. Poof – just gone. Since my diagnosis, it has been a super relief to learn it’s not my fault. I remind myself that I have, but a neurological reason this happens. I learned that I can just pick it back up! That habit I dropped, when I remember it, I can pick it back up and continue. I do not have to put myself down. It’s not a character flaw. It’s how my brain works and that has been liberating.
Happiest memories at work also revolve around starting new things. First it was working A LGH on the Third Age Initiative to create all of the best systems for that program to run. I loved creating the camp in Florida. The trial and the adjustments while working on a team of super smart people was amazing. I was happiest in these types of work environments.
Celebrating success as a team or pre-celebrations. A boss that brings in ice cream when we are managing the slog on envelope stuffing. A supervisor who takes the whole team out for lunch after a successful first session. Even a high-five when the session was over was great! These are the perfect ADHD rewards for me. Making the work fun, provides that dopamine that my brain needs.
Q14: What are your latest happy memories? Why?
Making people happy always makes me happy. But most recently Jonah became a bar mitzvah this spring. Figuring out all of the details was so complicated and because of the pandemic many options we had were like a moving target. It took a few pivot’s and working through a few logistics to etc.
When I watched him on the day of the bar mitzvah, I was so proud of him. We enjoyed the day more than we expected. We had family in town from as far away as Seattle, WA. We got to see everyone the next day and recount how amazing he was.
A few weeks later when I got to be with my sibs, my brother told me how he thought our synagogue was so nice. He isn’t a practicing Jew. He hasn’t been to synagogue more than once a few times year since his bar mitzvah. He thought the service leaders were wonderful, including how impressed they were that Jonah led parts of the service.
Seth and I have worked hard to build Jewish lives for ourselves and our children. We are both grandchildren of WWII veterans, my grandfather liberated a concentration camp. We have holocaust survivors in our family. When we got married we talked about how we want to be raising our kids to live Jewish lives. Watching Jonah made me so proud of him and of us. I was so proud of my decisions that led to this day. Starting with finding a partner who would support me through it all.
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 