Q17: What do you think you are good at? Do you enjoy using those skills?
The beauty of ADHD is the ability to learn new skills. I love to learn new things, somewhat ‘H’ing (hyper focus) on them until I learn them and then moving on. I would say I can do a lot of things. I have done a lot of things really well. I have been a babysitter, a landscaper, a teacher, a program assistant, an executive director pf a small non-profit, a waitress and hostess. All of these jobs require a quick learning curve. I learn and follow the rules and then like magic, I get bored, lose interest and start messing up.
That would be the ugly side of my ADHD. I excel so quickly and then monumentally fail. I disappoint many people, feel terrible and just go away. Leaving behind people I truly respected and enjoyed, but because I felt so bad about myself, I blame them. I have been working super hard to be more humble and understanding of myself and my brain. I have learned that these behaviors aren’t allowing me to be the Sarah that I want to be and my obstacle is my very own brain.
My am currently an office manager. I truly find I am enjoying the work. I am super good at organizing quickly. I like learning new skills around technology and as an office manager one is expected to know how to fix everything. I have also found a super successful group of Office Managers to connect with that are all over the world and have created an amazing network for me to feel confident in my role. Not to mention that in the last year I have learned:
How to send gifts all over the world with 24 hours notice.
How to level cabinet doors.
How to set up a new computer.
How to set up an office for safe return to work in a pandemic.
How to ask for help in a work environment.
How to set-up a Zoom Room with only a TV and an iPad.
How to create signage that is clear and informative.
How to juggle all the fires for a variety of executive.
How to set up an executive apartment, and so much more.
This work is different every day. Things fall through he cracks sometimes but it’s so much easier to pick them up in this type of environment. Kids won’t be left on the bus (never happened – but I had great anxiety around it), family lifecycle events wont’ be ruined because there aren’t enough chairs, the lawn won’t have wonky patched because I but didn’t raise the blade high enough…I enjoy how tasks are finished and I am enjoying the shifting environment.
Q18: What are you not good at? Do you care about developing those skills?
I am not good at so much. I have spent so much of my time ruminating on all the things I am terrible at doing. In the past year or so, I have started to name them and ask for help. This is super hard. Failure sucks. But it’s also ok. I was always under the impression I was supposed to be good at everything I do and to feel shame if you aren’t successful, no matter how hard you try. I was always ‘incentivized’ in school by my parents – the worst was that I had to make honor roll to get my driver license. I literally couldn’t make honor roll untreated for ADHD. I eventually got my license because they didn’t want to drive me around or have me around as a grumpy teen.
So I am not working to develop skills of things I’m not good at. I’m learning to be ok with not being good at it and only pursuing if it feels good. If it doesn’t feel good, I outsource it!
Where Does That Red Hair Come From? 